Friday, August 19, 2005
Chicken
I received a text msg from a mate recently. She asked me not to go to the UK!!! She said that I’ll prolly come back all snobbish and speak wif a fake accent!!!! I told her that it’s too late – I’m oredi snobbish and I speak weird!!!
Of course she was only kidding.
Still, I’ve been admitting to quite a number of people lately that I’m getting butterflies in me tummy over going over.
Yes, I’m scared!
There, I said it.
I spent the nite cracking my head over getting my visa application ready. Then I went on-line and surfed for a few hours, checking on everything regarding me studies – the cost of the airline tickets, the entry requirements, how to fill in the visa forms and about me Uni. Yeah, checked up a lot bout me Uni.
It’s real! It’s approaching. I am going. I’m leaving the comforts of home, of the local church, of mates. The pics of all the Brits in the Uni website is scary.
Money is one thing. All me savings are gonna be wiped out soon – it doesn’t help that so many things have happened recently which cost me, financially – car broken into, CD player stolen, cologne bottle broken, PDA screen smashed, increase in the cost of the visa, passport expiring…
But wat makes it really hard is the fact that I’ve drawn so much closer to me family and to me church mates in this past year. I’m so gonna miss them so much!!! Me neice has only recently learnt how to call me in Cantonese!!! Instead of “suok suok”, she calls me “yuk yuk”!!!! the other day, she grabbed a pack of cards, looked up at me and said “Juk, juk, play wit me?” :-)
Sigh… on top of that, so many uncertainties – I’m going back to study after a break of more than 10 years!!!! And a subject which although I’ve always been interested in but I’ve never really been in touch wif. And I’ll be working and studying at the same time! I’ll be going alone.
I was telling Weng the other day that if me former boss/partner offered me my job again as his partner, I might just agree to it! Seeing him “in action” recently at the Kuching courts and reading about a case in the papers where I was heavily involved in previously made me miss practice.
Honestly, if me visa application gets rejected, I won’t be feeling too disappointed!!!
Just last week, I found out that UNSW will be opening a branch in S’pore in 2007!!! Maybe I shud just forget about Essex, take up the job offer I received to tutor at TAR college (yeah, I got the offer last month) and then go over to S’pore in 2007 to do me Masters there. At least then the cost of living would be lower and I’m closer to home!
Yet… yet, having said that all, I know that if I dun go back to the UK, I’ll live to regret it for the rest of my life. This was sumthing that I wanted to do all these while since I got back in 1994. It’s just weird that now when I finally am so close to fulfilling it, I’m getting cold feet.
Sigh… I’ll get over it, I’m sure. I’ll go over, have the time of my life and laugh at this post when I re-read it.
I will!
Do i sound like I'm trying hard to convince meself???
Of course she was only kidding.
Still, I’ve been admitting to quite a number of people lately that I’m getting butterflies in me tummy over going over.
Yes, I’m scared!
There, I said it.
I spent the nite cracking my head over getting my visa application ready. Then I went on-line and surfed for a few hours, checking on everything regarding me studies – the cost of the airline tickets, the entry requirements, how to fill in the visa forms and about me Uni. Yeah, checked up a lot bout me Uni.
It’s real! It’s approaching. I am going. I’m leaving the comforts of home, of the local church, of mates. The pics of all the Brits in the Uni website is scary.
Money is one thing. All me savings are gonna be wiped out soon – it doesn’t help that so many things have happened recently which cost me, financially – car broken into, CD player stolen, cologne bottle broken, PDA screen smashed, increase in the cost of the visa, passport expiring…
But wat makes it really hard is the fact that I’ve drawn so much closer to me family and to me church mates in this past year. I’m so gonna miss them so much!!! Me neice has only recently learnt how to call me in Cantonese!!! Instead of “suok suok”, she calls me “yuk yuk”!!!! the other day, she grabbed a pack of cards, looked up at me and said “Juk, juk, play wit me?” :-)
Sigh… on top of that, so many uncertainties – I’m going back to study after a break of more than 10 years!!!! And a subject which although I’ve always been interested in but I’ve never really been in touch wif. And I’ll be working and studying at the same time! I’ll be going alone.
I was telling Weng the other day that if me former boss/partner offered me my job again as his partner, I might just agree to it! Seeing him “in action” recently at the Kuching courts and reading about a case in the papers where I was heavily involved in previously made me miss practice.
Honestly, if me visa application gets rejected, I won’t be feeling too disappointed!!!
Just last week, I found out that UNSW will be opening a branch in S’pore in 2007!!! Maybe I shud just forget about Essex, take up the job offer I received to tutor at TAR college (yeah, I got the offer last month) and then go over to S’pore in 2007 to do me Masters there. At least then the cost of living would be lower and I’m closer to home!
Yet… yet, having said that all, I know that if I dun go back to the UK, I’ll live to regret it for the rest of my life. This was sumthing that I wanted to do all these while since I got back in 1994. It’s just weird that now when I finally am so close to fulfilling it, I’m getting cold feet.
Sigh… I’ll get over it, I’m sure. I’ll go over, have the time of my life and laugh at this post when I re-read it.
I will!
Do i sound like I'm trying hard to convince meself???
// posted by imissw @ 1:08:00 am 
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